The Queen Left Behind
by darkmistresssnape
Summary: Post P Caspian. When the Pevensie's walk through the arch, Susan falls off the cliff instead. She is rescued by the trillups. Caspian is broken hearted and losing his mind. Only one thing can heal him - his queen.
1. Chapter 1

The Queen Left Behind

Susan glanced back at Caspian, desperately striving to memorise the sensation of his lips on hers. With a sigh, she followed her siblings through the arch. They vanished into thin air, leaving her behind. She was falling, plummeting through the lightest air into a deep chasm. Darkness overcame her as ice cold water splashed around her.



Caspian hurriedly swiped a tear from his eye as he turned from the arch. How he longed for Susan to return. When first he glimpsed her, he had been astounded by her beauty but now that he knew her, he loved so much more about her. For a moment he considered begging Aslan to bring her back, but he knew that it would be pointless.

Aslan strode toward him, the bright sunlight making his thick mane glow like fire. His face held a gentle expression; he knew Caspian's heartache.

"Caspian, my son, these things must happen. Perhaps one day you will understand." Caspian nodded reluctantly at the regal lion. "Now I too must take leave."

The Narnian's gathered at the palace gasped as one as Aslan vanished before their eyes.



Susan dreamed of dancing trees and choirs of wood nymphs as she floated with the river, her skirts billowing with the ebbing of the clear water. Her consciousness had fled as she hit the water and now flowed unknowingly towards the sea. She dreamed of a young king, tall and dark. The current washed her onto a pebbly beach.



Peter, Edmund and Lucy emerged in the train station, which appeared exactly as they had left it. Lucy had a sudden feeling that something was wrong. Very wrong. Glancing around, she became enveloped with fear.

"Where is Susan?" she cried. She, Edmund and Peter stared at each other, fear and disbelief evident in their wide, round eyes.

"I don't understand," Peter puzzled. "She was right with us when we walked through the arch. Something must have gone wrong."

Lucy shook her head. "Aslan wouldn't make a mistake. Everything he does is for a reason."

"Perhaps…" Edmund began. "Perhaps this was out of Aslan's control. Perhaps she got lost."

The train pulled up and the three siblings were bumped and bustled through the doors into the stuffy, crowded confines of a tiny compartment. Their missing sibling weighed like a load of bricks on each of their hearts. Four had become three.



The trillups were a curious folk. They were few in number and rarely seen. Living by the sea shore, they collected all manner of shells for their stunning artwork. Nitera was a young trillup and this particular day she had been collecting numerous fair shells from an array of rock pools when she saw a strange figure wash up. Thinking that a small dolphin had become beached, she quickly gathered some of her friends so that they could assist the poor creature.

Nitera approached the figure cautiously and was immediately shocked.

"A daughter of Eve!" she exclaimed to her friends. "Perhaps she is dead."

Nitera pressed her ear to Susan's chest. "She has a pulse! Let us take her to the pavilion."

The trillups were quite small, but together they managed to carry Susan back to their pavilion. It was a fine-looking hall decorated with countless seashells and surrounded by the tiny huts where the trillups slept.

Susan was set upon the floor and the trillups immediately saw to the matter of her health.



Several months passed and still Caspian yearned for Susan, for one more kiss or even one more glance. He tried to distract himself by organizing the restoration of Cair Paravel. He kept Susan's horn on his belt at all times and often considered blowing it, just to see if it would bring her back.

Hopeful mothers paraded likely daughters in front of him. Their beauty was wasted upon him as he coldly ignored their approaches. He could not look upon their faces without feeling anew the pain of losing Susan. The Narnian's expected him to marry, to produce an heir but he could not bring himself to it. It hurt too much.



Susan wandered through the woods. She had to duck frequently to avoid scratches from the low coastal scrub. The last few months had puzzled her beyond all comprehension. She had been considerably shocked to wake up in the trillup camp. How could she still be in Narnia? Were Peter, Edmund and Lucy still here? If they arrived back in the train station did they wonder where she was? There were no answers to the questions that spun furious through her befuddled brain.

Only one thought was strong and sure: if she was still in Narnia then perhaps she and Caspian had a chance.

This thought had prompted her to thank the gentle trillups one last time before leaving their camp in search of Cair Paravel. The trillups knew nothing of kings and queens or the land away from the coast so she had no idea as to where she might be. She could follow the river back to the palace but she had floated a fair way in the sea before washing up and there were several rivers that flowed into the sea around the trillup camp.

She had no idea as to which one to follow so she decided to follow none of them.



"_Why don't you hold on to it - you might need to call me again." _Caspian stared at the finely carved horn, picturing her full lips forming the flirtatious words as she gazed down at him from the horse in Aslan's How. He loved the way she talked.

"King Caspian, your audience is requested." Trumpkin's voice echoed though the glass-domed throne room, startling Caspian from his reverie.

"My audience?"

"The Telmarines are here to sign the treaty, as was organized, your majesty. Shall I bring them in?"

"Yes, please, Trumpkin." Caspian straightened in his chair as his advisor, Glenstorm, strode to his side.

"It will be a relief to have this treaty signed so that peace will reign once more." Glenstorm said to Caspian.

"Indeed," Caspian replied, still distracted.

Once the treaty was signed and all necessary ceremonies were taken care of, Caspian ordered his horse. He had to get out – he just felt so empty. He couldn't believe that one person could take up so much of his mind space and his heart. He nudged his horse into a gallop, headed for the low lands by the coast.



Susan had been walking for hours. The unchanging landscape made her feel as though she was wandering around in circles. The thick scrub allowed her few glances of the azure sky above. It was impossible to see the sun so it was likely that she had been simply retracing her steps all day.

She came upon a clearing that appeared suspiciously familiar. She glanced up at the scrubby trees. They did not wave their limbs in welcome, instead standing stationary and hostile. It seemed strange that no living creatures had stirred as she passed through the bush. This made her uneasy. Weary, she settled down upon a patch of carpet-soft grass and fell into a troubled sleep.



Caspian halted his weary steed in a small clearing. He dismounted and tied the horse to a tree. He caught sight of a dark shape out of the corner of his eye. He spun around and exclaimed quietly. There, upon the ground, lay Susan. She was as beautiful as ever she had been.

"This cannot be. My eyes must be cheated by some spell." Disbelief flooded Caspian's mind, filling him with panic. Caspian fetched his horse and galloped off into the night.

He was haunted by her peaceful, sleeping face. _It must have been a trap_, he thought to himself. _Just like with the White Witch in Aslan's How. Someone was trying to trick me_.



Susan awoke very early in the morning. Her sleep had been full of heavy hoof beats and strange thoughts. She shivered as a powerful gale whirled through the scrub, raising the leaves in a scratchy susurration. She noticed fresh hoof prints in the clearing. Tired of walking without direction, she followed the tracks. Often, she lost her way and was forced to retrace her steps. For three days she walked until she began to notice familiar landmarks. She was overcome with joy when she saw the snowy white towers of Cair Paravel rising before her. The palace had been skillfully restored, appearing just as it had in the days of High King Peter.

The Palace was quiet as she wandered through its expanse. She headed for her favourite balcony, but paused when she saw that someone was already there. It was Caspian.

Susan was filled with sadness as she search his heartbroken face. Tears fell freely from his eyes as he stared out over the wall, unaware of her presence. He clung to her horn.



Caspian was angered by the cruelness of his vision. How could he ever forget her when there were so many things to remind him? He did not bother to wipe away his tears as they pooled in his eyes before overflowing onto his cheeks. He turned to walk back inside and then stopped dead. How cruel. Another vision. How was he to live his life like this? A witness to an unending series of heart wrenching images of this bewitching woman.

"Go!" He cried. "Get out! Plague me no more! Do not tempt me with what I can never have!"

"Caspian, what's wrong?" She questioned him.

"Do not talk to me! Let me forget what I must forget!"

"What must you forget, Caspian?"

"You! You are only an image! Why must they conjure you?"

"I am not an image. I am here!" she reassured him, confused by his anger.

He strode toward her and reached one hand toward her face. He gently touched the soft flesh. She was solid, real.

"H-how…" She cut him off with a kiss that communicated her passion. He kissed her back, wrapping his arms tightly around her as though she might suddenly vanish.

"How did you get back here? How did you get back to Narnia?" he questioned her.

"I don't think I ever left. I didn't disappear like the others – I fell off the cliff instead. I floated right out to sea and woke up in a trillup village."

"Trillup?"

"They are a strange folk. I will show them to you some day. Right now, though, I don't want to do anymore talking." She smiled up at him. "I have missed you too much."

"Not as much as I have missed you, my queen." Caspian uttered softly.

They hurried into Caspian's bed chamber. They kissed, hands exploring each other as their tongues danced together. Caspian backed Susan toward the bed and they lay down, removing their clothes in frenzy.

"Wait," Caspian interrupted. "Are you sure that you are ready for this?"

"I've never been more sure in my life," she murmured.

Caspian entered her and they moved together until both were sated. They lay together, murmuring quietly to each other through the night.


	2. Perhaps

Here is another chapter. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the people or places in this story. They belong to CS Lewis.**  
**

**The Queen Left Behind – Chapter 2**

Peter sat at his desk in his school dormitory, stationary as he stared wearily at the pages in front of him. The mass of spidery print blurred as his mind wandered to a far away land where animals talked and he was known as a king. _Where was Susan? Why had there been no word of her? Couldn't Aslan send a message to them?_

These were the questions that had circled ceaselessly through Peter's mind, torturing him like pushing bamboo under his fingernails. For all he knew, Susan could be dead or captured by rebel Telmarines or even the brutal Calormenes. Peter slammed his fist onto the desk. _Where the hell was she?_

Down the corridor in his own dormitory, Edmund was trying to get to sleep. He tossed and turned, his mind plagued by restless dreams of Narnia. In his dream he was a Griffen, flying over every inch of Narnia in search of Susan. He could see only one slightly encouraging hope on the horizon; Aslan _had_ implied that He and Lucy would return to Narnia. Perhaps…

Susan lay on the soft bed. It took her a moment to orientate herself and then a broad smile lit up her face while a warm, unquenchable happiness spread throughout her being. She turned her head to the side where she saw Caspian – her King. He slept contentedly, an expression of peace upon his face. She reached over to stroke his face then kissed him softly on the cheek. With a soft groan, he awoke.

"Good morning," Susan whispered, smiling into his sleepy face. Caspian put his hand behind her head and gently pulled her in for a kiss.

"I would love to stay here all day but I have duties to attend to. Not least of which being the announcement of an approaching marriage." Caspian grinned at her.

"If that was your form of asking me to marry you, the answered is definitely yes. Yes! Yes! YES!" Susan exclaimed.

The Narnian's were overjoyed by the return of Susan the Gentle and thrilled by the announcement of their proposed marriage. At last Narnia would have a mighty and just couple to sit upon the thrones at Cair Paravel. Another cause for great relief was the better humour that overcame Caspian. Ever since the Pevensie children left, Narnia had been overcome by something like a period of grieving. It had not been a happy time.

Susan stood quietly as the dress maker quickly checked her measurements for the wedding dress. Her thoughts, as they regularly did, turned to her siblings. _They must be so worried _she thought. The dress maker left when she was finished. Susan turned to the window but spun back around when she heard a slight noise. She gasped, her heart thudding. Aslan stood before her in all of his glory.

"My daughter," he growled gently, his eyes full of kindness.

"Aslan!" Susan ran towards him.

"I believe you have something to ask me, Susan."

Susan paused, wondering how to phrase her question.

"As you know, I am getting married to Caspian in two weeks. My siblings still do not know my hereabouts. I would like them at my wedding."

"Alas, the favour you request is the favour I cannot grant you. Peter cannot return – he has grown into a man and belongs where he is for now. As for Edmund and Lucy – I have other plans for them but they cannot return yet. I am sorry to be so final but that is the way it must be."

Susan dissolved into tears. She sobbed bitterly for the absence of her siblings, for the certain worry they must be feeling and for their inability to be present on the most important day of her life. When her weeping subsided and her eyes at last cleared, Aslan was gone.

Caspian returned later to find her lying stationary on the bed. He hurried to her side, concern creasing his face.

"Susan, whatever is the matter?" he questioned her as he gathered her is his arms.

"They – they can't come to the wedding. I'm getting married and my own family won't be there!" she wailed.

"Hush," he soothed her as he held her tighter. He felt as though if he loosened his arms she might simply fall apart.

The day of the wedding dawned bright and clear. Susan examined her skillfully crafted gown in the mirror. It should have been Lucy ho helped her to get dressed and fixed her hair instead of the troop of hand maidens that bustled around her room. At last she was ready.

Caspian stood at the altar beside Aslan. He watched in amazement as Susan made her way down the aisle. The expression on her pale face was a mixture of sadness and joy that was so beautiful and painful to Caspian that he almost cried. They were surrounded by their friends – Reepicheep, Trufflehunter, Trumpkin, Glenstorm and his family and countless others. It would have been perfect if not for the absence of Peter, Edmund and Lucy.

The wedding was followed by days of jubilant celebration throughout Narnia. It was the happiest time of the couple's young lives. The streets were full of dancing and singing. Cair Paravel was awash with colour and happy voices.

Once the celebrations had drawn to a reluctant close, Caspian began to plan a voyage. He had sworn on his coronation day that once peace was established in Narnia he would sail east to find his father's seven lost friends. They had ventured to the Eastern Islands but they hadn't been seen since. Now that everything was settled in Narnia it was time to go.

He was taking his ship the Dawn Treader and had put together a gallant and experienced crew. He was also taking Reepicheep, Lord Drinian and a few others who had expressed interest in the voyage.

On the night before the departure, he and Susan lay in bed, clinging to each other desperately. They had hardly been separated since their wedding and Caspian planned to be away for a whole year.

"I will miss you so much," he told Susan, trying not to cry.

"What will I do without you, my King?" Susan was already weeping.

"Just remember that my love for you is as deep and vast as the ocean I will sail and you will be part of my every thought." He assured her.

They lay silent for a time. At last Susan broke the silence.

"Why don't I come with you?" she asked, locking her eyes with Caspian's. "We could leave Trumpkin as regent. He could look after things while we are away."

"I don't know…It will be such a long voyage and we will enter many hostile lands. I don't want to put you at risk."

Susan sat up, anger and hurt blazing in her eyes.

"Do you think that I am a delicate, fragile lady who can't handle danger? Do you think that I would be content to wait here, safe and sound while you are away? Perhaps you don't know me as I thought you did!"

Caspian was shocked by her sudden outburst. He sat up quickly.

"I don't think any of those things. I know that you are just as strong and brave as any of the company I have chosen. I just wanted to protect you. You are everything to me."

"Then let me accompany you," she pleaded. "How are we to spend a year apart? It would be unbearable."

Caspian wrapped his arms around her, kissing her passionately.

"Of course you will come, my Queen. I could not have it any other way."


	3. The Voyage

Thanks for the reviews. I'll try to make this story as long as possible (grudgingly, though. Why can't Caspian be mine?). Keep reviewing and I'll keep writing!

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own anything in this chapter. The people and places are all property of CS Lewis.

**The Queen Left Behind – Chapter 3**

The whole of Narnia turned out to farewell their sea-bound rulers. Susan stood at the Prow of the large ship, holding hands with Caspian. The crowd cheered and waved, wishing them a safe and speedy voyage. The Dawn Treader moved out into the open sea, with sails full.

Cair Paravel soon shrunk far into the distance. Their first stop was the Island of Galma. The inhabitants of the island were actually Narnians. They were well known for their proficient knights and many noble families from the mainland sent their sons to Galma for training. They also prided themselves on breeding fine war horses.

There was a large crowd to welcome them as the ship docked. They hastened to depart the ship and Caspian and Susan were greeted by a tall man in rich attire. He bowed courteously.

"King Caspian, Queen Susan. Welcome! Welcome to our island of Galma. I am the Duke of Galma. It is an honour to have you here. I have organized a week of tournaments for your pleasure."

"Thankyou, but it is _I_ who am honoured to be here," Caspian replied.

"My men will now show you to your rooms. If it pleases you, you may rest until supper time."

They were escorted to their rooms. Caspian and Susan found themselves in a richly furnished chamber of the small palace. Once they were left alone they glanced at each other.

"Well…" Caspian began. "This week may be the last time we have an afternoon to ourselves with a proper bed at our disposal for quite some time."

Susan was already shedding her clothes. They lay together on the bed, skin pressing against skin. Susan leaned over Caspian, capturing his mouth in a passionate kiss. Caspian ran his hands down her back, pulling her closer as their kiss deepened. He ran his hands through her hair, loving her smell and the softness of her skin.

"I love you," she whispered before kissing down his neck and across his chest. He moaned, her touch entrancing him.

"I love you too. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

Susan straddled his hips and they moved together in a slow dance of love.

The week of tournaments sped by. Caspian displayed his prowess at fencing and jousting while Susan won many archery contests. Each night they reaffirmed their love for each other and woke with the glow that only two love struck people can possess. At last it was time to depart. They sailed south to Terebinthia but they could not go ashore for there was a terrible sickness there. They watered at a small creek far away from the capital before heading north east towards the Seven Isles.

Early in the morning of the third day out from Terebinthia, Caspian and Susan were awoken by shouts from the deck.

"My Liege!" Reepicheep cried. "We are under attack from pirates."

Caspian and Susan grabbed their weapons and hurried onto the deck. Along with the other archers, Susan fired a volley of arrows at the Terebinthian pirate. A few arrows came in reply but the ship stood well off and they passed without harm.

After a brief stop over in the Seven Isles they sailed south east for the Lone Islands.

Lucy sighed as she rested her chin in her hand and examined the spotless floor for anything more interesting than her cousin Eustace's lecture on why being a vegetarian is far better for one's health than eating meat. She glanced over at Edmund who rolled his eyes and smirked slightly. Lucy shook her head. It was just her luck that she would end up spending her summer with her odious cousin Eustace. He was the most annoying person she knew and she really couldn't wait until school started again, which was saying something because she had never liked school.

At last Eustace was called away by his mother. Lucy and Edmund wandered off to Lucy's bedroom where they started to talk about Narnia and Susan. They were discussing a painting of a huge sailing ship that was hanging on the wall.

"It's got to be a Narnian ship," Lucy said, trying to sound confident as her eyes followed the elegant lines of the gallant ship.

"Well it certainly looks like a Narnian ship," Edmund agreed just as Eustace strutted into the room.

"Honestly, are you two still raving on about Narnia? When will you grow up and stop talking about imaginary worlds?" Eustace sneered, an annoyingly superior expression on his pale face.

"Narnia is not an imaginary world!" Lucy retorted. Eustace began to laugh but then stopped abruptly. The room was filled with a roaring sound. They each turned to the painting on the wall. The waves seemed to be really moving.

"Stop it!" Eustace cried. "I mean it. You stop that right now or I'll tell my mummy!"

The three of them were dragged toward the frame. After a moment's pause they fell through the frame into the cool, thrashing ocean.

The people on the ship were shouting and crowding above the bulwarks. A figure dived off the ship and helped them swim back. They were pulled aboard the ship where they stood shivering on the deck. The person who had rescued them climbed up last. Lucy glanced at his familiar face.

"Caspian!" she cried. "It's so good to see you again." Caspian embraced both Lucy and Edmund.

"This is our cousin Eustace," Edmund told Caspian.

"I have someone for you to meet too," Caspian told them with a grin on his face. "I got married. My wife is on the ship right now."

"Wow!" Lucy exclaimed. "Do we know her?"

"I think so," Caspian replied. "I'll just go and get her." Caspian strode off as Reepicheep hurried toward them.

"Your majesties! How good it is to see you again."

"Reepicheep, have you seen Susan?" Lucy asked him.

"Susan? No, I have not seen her."

"Oh…" Lucy turned away, a wave of disappointment washing over her.

Just then Caspian returned, arms linked with an elegant woman.

"Lucy, Edmund, Eustace – I am honoured to present my wife; Queen Susan the Gentle."

"Susan!" Lucy and Edmund cried as they threw themselves at their older sister. Caspian grinned as the siblings embraced each other.


	4. That's what growing up is about

The Queen Left Behind – 4

Caspian, Susan, Lucy, Edmund and Eustace sat together to eat their supper of salted pork and apples. Lucy and Edmund, being accustomed to these victuals, ate their meal with great relish. Eustace had a sour look on his face as he eyed the hunk of meat on his plate. He would not eat it – he was a vegetarian. His parents would be greatly displeased if they knew that he had been offered meat. He prodded at the apples, screwing up his nose at the bruises on their skin. His parents would never expect him to eat rotten fruit.

"I can't believe you two got married," Lucy said as she carved up her pork. "Tell us what happened when we went through the arch. We were ever so shocked and worried when you didn't appear in the train station. Poor Peter has been a nervous wreck ever since. He was sure that you had gotten lost or been kidnapped by rebel Telmarines or Calormenes. He would almost bite our heads off every time we mentioned you and now he is trying to hide in his studies. He will be so pleased to know that you are alright, but he'll have to wait until we get back to find out. Whenever that will be."

"Well…" Susan began. "I'm not really sure about why I didn't go back with the rest of you. I think it has something to do with a thing Aslan once said. He once mentioned in passing that if one's heart is tied to one place then no one can tear them away. You all disappeared but when I got to the edge of cliff I was still in Narnia. I fell down the cliff and was washed out to sea." She recounted the rest of the story up to the point when she and Caspian got married (save a few details that were unfit for the ears of children, of course).

"You really must show us these trillups. They sound fascinating." Edmund said.

"Yes, they were quite strange but they were also very caring. I most likely would have drowned without their help because I was unconscious when I was in the water."

Caspian also recounted his side of the story, which included the restoration of Cair Paravel, a few small skirmishes and the signing of many peace treaties. Lucy and Edmund were amazed by all the news. He then explained the reason for their voyage.

Susan was overjoyed to see her siblings again but she still longed to talk to Peter. Aslan had as good as said that her brother wouldn't return to Narnia until he died. She could be waiting another 70 odd years to see him again. _What if I die in that time?_ She thought to herself. _Will I still get to see him? _She had once been so close to Peter. She hated that she had put him through so much worry and pain.

They arrived on the Lone Islands soon after this. They located the lost friends of Caspian's father then continued into the Far East. Here Edmund, Lucy, Eustace and Reepicheep departed the Dawn Treader in a small row boat. Susan wept for their departure as they became smaller and smaller before vanishing into the impossible expanse of ocean. She knew, deep down, that she would not see them again until all things came to an end.

The Dawn Treader made good time on the way back to Cair Paravel. They only stopped briefly at the Seven Isles and Galma before returning home. Caspian was glad to see the snowy towers of his palace. Trumpkin had organized a great banquet for their return. As they ate, Fauns, Satyrs, and sprites danced around them while tiny wood nymphs sung a beautiful serenade.

That night, Susan lay quietly in bed, lost in her own thoughts. She was happy in Narnia, ruling by Caspian's side and loving him. He was always so kind and passionate and he was perfect for her. However, she would always miss her family. How could she be so happy and yet miss them so much? Before they had come to Narnia they had been so close and protective of each other and now they were all split up. _Perhaps that is what growing up is all about,_ she thought to herself. She had only one comfort – the warmth of Caspian's arms. She moved closer to him and he stirred, mumbling something about Terebinthia. He wrapped his arms around her and she fell asleep with the comforting reassurance of his steady heartbeat filling her ears.

Months later, Susan awoke feeling impossibly sick. She hurried to the bathroom and emptied the contents of her stomach before returning to her bed. Caspian was awake when she got there.

"Are you ill, darling?" he questioned, his face creased with worry.

"I-I don't know," she replied. "I mean, yes I am ill but I don't know why."

"Lie down again and I will fetch a healer," Caspian told her as he pressed his lips to her forehead.

The healer hurried to their bedchamber and examined the queen.

"Have you lain together?" she asked briskly.

"Y-yes," Caspian replied as he paced restlessy.

"I believe that Queen Susan is with child."

Susan's and Caspian's eyes met and their faces filled with joy – they would be parents.

"The baby will not be born for a long time yet, of course." The healer assured them.

The pregnancy was not a pleasant one. Susan was constantly sick and exhausted. Caspian was tireless in his efforts to cheer her, bringing flowers and simply holding her in his arms. He would press cold cloths to her face when she vomited and murmur gently in her ear. Susan loved him more every day, though she grew progressively weaker.

Three months into the pregnancy, a skirmish broke out on the border when a troop of Calormenes attacked a Narnia trading caravan. Caspian went to settle the unrest. He was gone for a week. Without his presence, Susan felt much worse. Her condition deteriorated considerably and she could scarcely rise from her bed. One morning she awoke with unbearable cramping pains in her stomach. She cried out, her voice weak and feeble. She then reached desperately for the small bell on her night stand and rang it. The healer came right away.

She gave Susan herbs to ease the pain while she examined the queen. She then left the room.


	5. The Cordial of Queen Lucy

The Queen Left Behind Chapter 5

Disclaimer : I do not own Narnia or anyone in it except for my little Trillups. All of the other characters and locations belong to CS Lewis.

Caspian urged his mount on despite the sweat that streamed from its flanks and neck. The stallion had been galloping all day up and down steep hills and through rough terrain. He had left his battle weary troops further back on the road under Glenstorm's command. They had slowed his progress considerably and he couldn't ask them to travel this fast.

At last he arrived at Cair Paravel. The grey light of dusk dappled the snowy walls, creating an eerie but beautiful effect. He rushed through the deserted halls to his personal quarters. He was met at the door to his room by the grim faced midwife.

"Susan!" he cried weakly, fearing that the queen was dead. The midwife placed a warm hand on his arm.

"My king, your wife is still in considerable pain. Her condition has greatly deteriorated. This afternoon she was especially distressed. I examined her and I believe that she has miscarried. There is little I can do for her and I am afraid that she has lost too much blood. She will not last long"

"Is there anything I can do?" he pleaded, his tone desperate.

"There is only one hope for her. The cordial of Queen Lucy the Valiant is the only cure for her illness. However, she is running out of time."

"Where is it?"

"That is not known for sure, but I believe that Queen Lucy had it on her belt when she passed through the arch with her siblings. There is a good chance that it fell into the river along with Queen Susan." The midwife replied.

"I must be off!" Caspian cried as he hurried back out to the stables. He requested a fresh mount and galloped off into the night.

It took two days of hard riding to reach the Trillups. Caspian was amazed by the odd little creatures, but he had no time to waste pondering over their strange appearance and lifestyle. The Trillups were scared of Caspian at first but soon realised that he meant no harm. He was taken to their leader, who was the only one who could converse with humans.

"Son of Adam, what service would you ask of me?" the trillup questioned him.

"My wife, Queen Susan, is desperately ill. The palace healers cannot help her."

"Our condolences to you. Is there anything we can do for her?"

"Well," Caspian replied. "When you pulled Susan from the water was there anything with her?"

"She was clothed in finery. A small bottle floated with her."

"This bottle – do you still have it?" Caspian questioned him, clinging to a desperate hope.

"Yes, of course. We treasure the bottle as a reminder of fair Susan."

Lucy, Edmund and Eustace materialized in the bedroom as though not a second had passed. They glanced at each other, eyes full of the understanding of a shared adventure. They all began talking at once, their voices full of excitement. Even Eustace joined in on the enthusiasm. Over the course of their journey on the Dawntreader, his personality had changed dramatically. He was now quite a pleasant boy and got on very well with Lucy and Edmund.

Once the summer had passed, Edmund and Lucy met up with Peter again. He had spent the holidays studying for his approaching exams with the old professor and appeared quite pale and drawn. He had obviously spent far too much time indoors. His eyes were haunted with fears for his future and for a sister never found. Edmund and Lucy were shocked by the transformation in their older brother. They were unsure of how to tell him about Susan. What if he did not believe them or if the news angered him?

"Peter," Lucy approached him. "We must talk to you. Now."

"You are talking to me, Lu."

"Like _talk_ talk to you," Edmund added.

"What about? It better not take too long because I have more studying to do."

"It's about Susan. We saw her."

"Susan! Where..how…what?" Peter was stunned.

"We saw Susan in Narnia this summer." Lucy explained.

"How did you get to Narnia?"

"We were at Eustace's house and we were sucked through a painting into Narnia. The painting was of a Narnian ship." Edmund continued.

"Okay." Peter was skeptical.

"We were pulled aboard the ship which was, incidentally, called the Dawntreader. Caspian was on the ship…and so was Susan."

"Susan? How?"

"Well…when we walked through the arch she fell off the cliff into the river instead. She was washed out to sea but she was rescued and eventually made her way back to Cair Paravel, which Caspian has restored. As you probably noticed, sparks were flying between them the last time you were there. The rest is history." Lucy explained.

"What do you…they got married?"

"Yes. We were shocked too, but they seem very happy and in love."

Peter was aghast. How could his sister be married? She was too young and Caspian was all wrong for her. How could she do this?

"We knew you'd be shocked. She really wanted to tell you, but there was just no way she could. She doesn't want you to worry about her. She's fine and you will get to see her again. Some day." Edmund tried to console him.

The journey back to Cair Paravel seemed to stretch into eternity. Caspian clutched the bottle of cordial, scared that he might drop it. At last the palace rose before him. The midwife rushed to him when he knocked on the door of his quarters. Caspian felt his gut clench when he saw the expression of great concern on her face.

"My king, I hope that your arrival is not too late." She said as she took the cordial from him.

"Is she worse?"

"Much worse, I am afraid. She is unconscious and running a very high fever."

"May I come in?" he asked, his voice desperate.

"I fear that it will grieve you much to see her in this state, but you are the king. It is your choice. I must hurry."

The midwife carefully let a single drop of the blood red cordial fall into Susan's parched mouth. A moment passed before she began to stir. Her breath came easily and her face relaxed. She opened her eyes and saw Caspian and was immediately puzzled. Joy was welling inside her – everything was going to work out. She felt healthy and free of all pain. Her husband was by her side.

So why were there tears rolling down Caspian's pale face? Why did he not smile and embrace her? Why was the midwife still there?

"Caspian, what is wrong?" she asked.

"Susan, my love, the baby is dead."

Susan was shocked by the finality of his words. She felt hollow and then the pain returned ten-fold. It was not a wrenching pain in her abdomen, but a crushing ache that filled her chest, constricting her breathing. _The baby is dead._

Susan confined herself to her room, seeing only Caspian when he returned for the night. She couldn't find her way out of the cloud of grief that surrounded her at every moment. Her sleep was filled with dreams of a faceless child who was always just a hairs-breadth out of her reach. The child grew from a tiny babe to a teenager as she watched. Caspian handled his grief silently and tried to be patient with Susan. He did not tell her of the cordial. One night as he walked into his quarters to go to bed, he found Susan at the window. Upon hearing him enter, she turned to face Caspian. Her pale face contorted with hurt and anger.

"Don't you care?" she screamed. Taken aback, Caspian frowned.

"Answer me! Don't you care?"

"Care about what, Susan?" he asked her, his face creased with concern.

"Of course you don't care! You just waltz around being big mighty King Caspian, no thought to the fact that your child just died!"

"Susan, I don't know wha-"

"You know exactly what I mean! You could have been here! You could have helped more! You could have saved its life!" Susan was now hysterical. She began throwing books and vases at Caspian. He dashed across the room, folding Susan into his arms.

"Don't touch me, you monster! I wish I had never come back. I wish I had never even heard of this cursed Narnia!" She screamed, slapping Caspian across the face and breaking free of his grasp. "I never want to see you again!" She ran from the room.

Caspian sunk down onto the bed, overwhelmed with shock. _What did I do? _He thought to himself as he clutched his head in his hands. He sat like a statue, too shocked to move, too confused to sleep and much too hurt to think about Susan.

Trumpkin approached Caspian with caution. He, along with every other resident of Cair Paravel, had heard Susan's hysterical accusations the previous night and he had also watched Susan dash out of the palace. The king hadn't yet uttered a word.

"Caspian, is everything well?" he pried gently. Caspian started at his voice as though he had quite forgotten that he was in the public throne room.

"Yes,yes," he replied, distracted.

"The queen, is she well?"

Caspian did not reply.

It was some days before Caspian talked openly with Trumpkin. The dwarf consoled him, but could offer little advice other than to send out a search party.

"She called me a monster! She said she never wanted to see me again! What am I to do? Perhaps she does not wish to be found."

Peter frowned at the exam paper in front of him. He had spent weeks studying this material and now his mind was completely blank. As he began to bite his tongue in frustration he noticed a tiny window appearing on the page. It began as no more than a pin hole then steadily grew to the size of a post card. Through the window he could see a beautiful young woman running through an ancient forest. Her long chestnut hair streamed behind her as she dashed through the wood. She ran as though pursued by some evil creature, casting frequent glances over her shoulder. He looked closer, realizing that the tiny figure was his sister. Susan. She looked thinner and more care-worn than when he had last seen her. She was also very pale. He wanted to call out to her, but he knew that she would never hear.

Peter glanced around quickly, making sure that none of the examination supervisors had noticed his odd looking paper. He then pressed his nose against the window and experienced a curious sensation, tipping headfirst into the forest. He landed hard on the leaf-strewn ground, momentarily disorientated as he fought to breathe the fresh into his winded lungs. He then sprung to his feet and began to pursue the rapidly diminishing figure that was his long-lost sister.

"Susan!" he called. "Susan, it's Peter!"

She sprinted toward him, throwing herself into his arms.

"Oh Peter, what ever shall I do?"

"What's wrong and why are you here by yourself?" he questioned her.

"Caspian and I quarreled and I ran away."

"I knew that he would end up hurting you. What did he do?" Peter was becoming angry.

"I was pregnant. It was a painful pregnancy but Caspian was taking care of me at first. After a couple of months he went of to battle. I got a lot worse. He returned on the very night when the baby died inside of me." Susan began to sob and Peter took her into his arms.

"But that's not the worst of it," she continued. "Caspian hardly seemed to care about the baby dying. He just continued on being Mr High and Mighty I Don't Give a Damn King Caspian. I was so angry and so hurt but he couldn't see it! I wanted him to grieve with me but he didn't care at all!"

"Don't worry, Susan. I'll make sure he pays for this."


End file.
